I'm based in Portland, Oregon–where it rains all the time, and you definitely shouldn't move here because it's terrible, and everyone who lives here is burdened by a deep sense of regret brought on by their own poor life choices. When I'm not figuring out how to make Fortune 500 companies even more money, I'm usually in the forest searching for mushrooms. I have the best job in the world. Let's work together. I like you.
What I Make
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